That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." ~ Ernest Hemingway "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host." ~ Dorothy Parker "I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. "I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food." ~ W.C. "A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly." ~ Winston S. "It takes only one drink to get me drunk.the trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth." ~ George Burns "I drink to make other people more interesting." ~ Ernest Hemingway "There's too much blood in my alcohol system." ~ Anonymous Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine ! That's why you always feel smarter after a few But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brainĬells first. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. Same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killedįirst. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." ~ W.C. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." ~ Abraham If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. Then God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said, "Whoa - too much light." ~ Anonymous "And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." ~ Dean Martin "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman "Remember 'I' before 'E', except in Budweiser." ~ Professor Irwin Corey "He was a wise man who invented beer." ~ Plato "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." ~ Oscar Wilde Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." ~ Dave Barry "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." ~ Humphrey Bogart Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about This wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered. "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. "I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." ~ W.C. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ "Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. "Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." ~ Winston Churchill To me it's a Support Group." ~ Leo Durocher "What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" ~ W.C. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ "Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts." ~ Finley Peter Dunne "Alcohol removes inhibitions - like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: "Now bring on that damn cat!" ~ Eleanor Early "Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life." ~ George Bernard Shaw "When I read about the evils of drinking I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman "Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol." ~ Anonymous "The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober." ~ William Butler Yeats When they wake up in the morning that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Frank Sinatra "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. If you like these you can get some of them engraved on your own Drinking Quotes Beer Mug, Pilsner Glasses, Pint Glasses, Pitcher or Beer Mug and Pitcher Set.
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